enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
