Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize