I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
