So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
this will be a night to untag.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
