Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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