i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
