Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
