if i died would you start the facebook group?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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