ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
