So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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