Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
