how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
