we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
