and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
