I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize