called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
