i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
