Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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