you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
