how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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