break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
