So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
