420 ftw
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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