I hate your face
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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