I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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