My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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