we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
