how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
