My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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