Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
