She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
A+ Viking dick
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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