I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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