Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Randomize
