Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
babies were throwing up all over the place
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
