Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
