Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We left the knife in your bed.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
