Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
