please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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