the condom got lost in my hair
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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