every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
