Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
