I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
