I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize