It's like God shit irony all over that family
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
