Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
