I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize