what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize