Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i out mim tonsoeep
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
