So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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