Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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