no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
