i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
