Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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