the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
