I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
