She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
