Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
