you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
