I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
