I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
