I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
